Real answers to fake science questions.
From: "Lisa" Hi, I am medical and I am wondering why the stomach secretes acid. Can you help? My dear Lisa, I am sorry to report that stomachs do not secrete acid, rather they I suggest you try typing more carefully next time. And check your teeth … what is that, a poppyseed? With insurmountable fondness, 
They’re a combination of Mr. Wizard, Bill Nye, and Don Rickles–hopped up on a Viagra and Geritol cocktail. If you have a science question and you are looking for a straigth answer that cuts to the heart of the matter and avoids all the big words, then Benny and Doris can help.
Subject: Hi Dr.!
secret (no "e") it. Stomachs are very shy, and they secret away many,
many things. Explore the hidden folds and cul de sacs of any stomach,
and you’ll be surprised at what it’s been hiding from you. Acid, yes,
but also tinfoil balls and shopping lists, romantic candles and remote
controls.
Doris
